The Culture

If you didn't know by now, you should know that I am Hmong. We are from Southeast Asia are commonly known as Eurasian also. The Hmong culture is so fascinating because we were originally not from Asia. The Hmong people migrated from somewhere in Europe to China and were eventually taken control of by the Chinese. That is the reason why we look Asian and not European anymore. It was easy to spot us because of our blonde hair, blue eyes, and our height. Yes, if I were still a full-blood Hmong, then I wouldn’t be as short as I am today. It must be from my Chinese ancestors.

I wonder how life would be if I did not look Asian. Would it be harder or would it be easier? I guess it all depends on where I live. 

The Hmongs adapted to Chinese customs after they were conquered by the Chinese. This is the reason why we have similar words and names. Of course, some Hmong people are still holding a grudge against the Chinese but I have forgiven all. 

In this photo, I am wearing my traditional dress. This was the day of my wedding.

In the Hmong culture, when a woman marries a man, she has to wear her traditional dress to the Hmong ceremony. She is also accompanied by a “green lady”, which is also known as a bride’s maid. The reason behind having a bride’s maid with the bride at all time is because the groom’s family does not want the bride “running” away from her wedding. Back in Laos or Thailand, women were captured to be wives whether they knew the man or not. (Thank goodness, I live in America, where there are polices!) Of course I knew my husband before we married. My husband courted me for over a year before we got married. We did not necessarily date but enjoyed each other’s company whenever we saw each other. He lived here in Wausau and I lived in Kansas City at the time that we decided to live together. In my culture, when a man and woman live together, it means that they intend on getting married. We were engaged for eight months before we got married in Kansas. We got married in Kansas because that is where my parents live. To not cause any offense to my family, we had to get married in Kansas. Of course with every Hmong bride, there is a dowry to pay. My dowry was $6,600 and my husband’s family had to pay the dowry to my parents. I still find the custom strange but can understand why it is done that way. It is not that my parents were “selling” me but it is more like promise money. The man has to take good care of his bride because she came at a price. During the Hmong ceremony, the groom’s family has to promise to take good care of the bride and treat her with respect. If the bride’s family is smart, they will say that there are no returns, meaning that even if the marriage doesn’t work out, the money will not be refunded. 

Marriage is already complicated enough, but I do have to say, the Hmong way is even more complicated.